This week's heroes and losers according to, well, us...

Top Cats…

Fabio Capello
Hardly the most convincing of wins, but what impressed us here was his single-mindedness and refusal to bow to the pressure of selecting England’s big players, or playing the way the fans want. And calling all the players by their surnames. Makes a nice change from Steve ‘Becks, Stevie G and JT’ McClaren.

Joe Cole
Could be the man to really benefit from Capello’s reign. Always at his best when given a free role just off the striker, it was probably always going to take a foreign manager to allow him to do this. Looked sharp and lively against the Swiss. Though he’s probably had to endure stick all week for being the teacher’s pet.

Egypt
While the BBC’s B team covering the African Nations were cooing over an Ivory Coast side brimming with Premier League players, Egypt demonstrated that brute force and power isn’t always the answer at the tournament in Ghana. To the evident disappointment of all at the Beeb, the Ivory Coast were comprehensively beaten in the Semi Final, with their talismanic front man, one Mr. Drogba, spending most of his time on the deck.

Jimmy Bullard
The word refreshing tends to be overused when describing footballers who tend to break the mould slightly, but after Jimmy Bullard made no attempt to hide his glee after scoring the winning goal for Fulham last week, it’s hard not to use the word. Especially after he spent the week hugging people, "I was full of it, I wanted to cuddle everyone I could see!" Bless.

In a Flap…

Andre Bikey
Your team is 1-0 up with one minute to go, and a place in the African Nations Cup final up for grabs. One of your teammates is down injured, with the medics on the pitch about to place him on the stretcher. What do you do? If you’re Reading’s Andre Bikey, you push one of the medics over, earn yourself a red card, and miss the final. Absolutely crackers.

The Premier League
Well that’s it, it’s confirmed now. The game is officially now all about money, with the fans reduced to a second-thought. On a good day. Just how will moving ten Premier League games a season abroad not turn in to a complete shambles? What next, millionaires can rent teams to have a game in their back garden? Probably.

Terry Butcher
If you’re an England legend, famous for battling on in a blood-stained bandage while playing for the national side, it might just rankle with some people if you’re appointed as Scotland assistant manager. When we mean some people, we mean all of Scotland.

Michael Owen
Poor Mickey. It’s not gone so well for him as late has it? Sadly for him, England have appointed one of the few managers on the planet who cares little about his 40 goals in 88 international appearances. Instead, all Fabio sees are poor performances in a poor club side. Can anyone else see that summer transfer request a mile off?

Posted by: Lex