More on field scraps at Old Trafford, an absent Al Bangura, Alan Pardew's height and Kevin Blackwell in a chopper...

Liverpool v Barnsley
Where Anfield, 15.00
What you hope to see A rollicking good cup tie, with 14th in the Championship Barnsley displaying the ‘spirit of Havant’ and pegging back the mighty Reds.
What you’re likely to get The dullest tie of the round, with a deflected Gerrard strike and an ugly Crouch header settling the game after 20 minutes.
Fact! Steven Gerrard is a freeman of the Borough of Knowsley.

Man Utd v Arsenal
Where Old Trafford, 17.15
What you hope to see Let’s not beat around the bush here, we’d all love to see another good scrap circa 2004. Only with Phillipe Senderos as Martin Keown and Ronaldo as Ruud van Nistelrooy.
What you’re likely to get Garth Crooks bamboozling Arsene Wenger with incomprehensible non-questions before and after the match. How is this man still in a job?
Fact! Pizza will not be served at the after-match buffet.

Charlton v Watford
Where The Valley, 15.00
What you hope to see John-Joe O’Toole to score on his return for Watford and then revealing that he was invented by Enid Blyton to be a character in the Famous Five.
What you’re likely to get Al Bangura not playing any part for Watford. Again.
Fact! Alan Pardew is 5ft 11in.

Sheff Utd v Middlesbrough
Where Bramall Lane, Sunday, 14.00
What you hope to see Kevin Blackwell to arrive at Bramall Lane in a helicopter.
What you’re likely to get A subdued Bramall Lane wondering how replacing one clueless dullard with another is ever going to work.
Fact! In the event of a bear attack, a recording of Bryan Robson’s voice will send it to sleep and render it harmless.

Posted by: Lex