James McFadden's beard, Lineker narrating, the Likely Lads, and Mark Hughes as a boring priest...

Where: St. Andrews, Saturday, 15:00
What you hope to see: James McFadden tripping over his own beard when through on goal. The scruffy swine.
What you’re likely to get: That really lame split coverage thing Match of the Day always do on the last game of the season, narrated by Gary Lineker, as if one of those I Love 1980s shows. As if people don’t already know the outcome. We don't live in an episode of The Likely Lads. And Adrian Chiles having the weekend off. The chubby swine.
Fact! Mark Hughes provided the voice for the boring priest in several episodes of Father Ted.

Posted by: Lex

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a ruddy good striker who can do flips and everything...

His name is Kenwyne Jones, and in Sunderland they believe that he can actually walk on the River Wear. And when 40,000 fans pack the Stadium of Light tonight for the proverbial six-pointer against Birmingham, they'll be expecting more miracles from the £6m man. For it is a game so important that Rupert Murdoch personally ordered his underlings at Sky to screen the game so that he could watch it from his office in Australia. True story.

And I reckon the big man will deliver with a back flip, triple pike and full tuck. Oh, and with a goal. Paddy Power have odds of 9-5 for him to score at any time during the game, and 28-1 for him to score first and Sunderland to win 2-1. Get on! As they say in, er, England.

Make the bet here, or ignore everything i've just said and back Ginger Warrior Paul McShane to score an own goal at 40-1...

Posted by: Catflap Magazine

A close 'friend' of Alex McLeish this evening told CATFLAP, well he actually told a 'friend' of CATFLAPs... "Alex is looking to sign Dave Kitson from Reading to join Benjani up front".

There's only one Dave Kitson apparently.

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Posted by: Catflap Magazine