Getting drunk with Jeff Stelling = Football Heaven...

The Rules

- Everytime a goal is scored:- 1 shot of beer

- Every sending off:- 1 shot of Jager (or substitute)

- Half time:- Absolutley no alcoholic beverages may be
imbibed during this period.

- Whenever Chris Kamara is talking:- You must be drinking

- Whenever Merson uses stupid rhyming slang (i.e."he's hit the beans
on toast"!):- 1 shot of Jager

- In the second half, all teams can only be referred to by their
nicknames:- Failure to do so results in a 3 beer shot penalty.

- Whenever Swindon Town appear on the vidiprinter: - Last person to
shout out 'Mackerel' takes shot of Jager.

- Whenever Dundee appear on the vidiprinter:- Last person to shout out
'Football' takes shot of Jager.

- Everytime Phil Thompson says 'Stevie Gerrard':- 3 shots of beer.

- Everytime Jeff makes an 'A Trialist' joke:- 3 shots of beer.

- Everytime your team score:- 2 extra shots of beer

- Everytime Matty Taylor and 'Goal of the Season' are mentioned in the
same sentence:- 1 shot of Jager

- Everytime Jeff calls Kenny Deucher 'The Good Doctor':- 1 shot of
Whisky

- Any hint of racism (social or otherwise) from any of the pundits:-
Quad bombs (4 jager+redbull) all round

- Everytime Hartlepool score a goal:- 3 shots of beer

- Everytime a pundit shouts off camera:- 2 shots of beer

- Everytime LeTiss is mentioned in connection with a takeaway: - 1
shot of Jager

- Whenever Chris Kamara says "its unbelievable Jeff", all drinks must
be downed

- Everytime Jeff mentions "dancing in the streets of TNS: - 1 shot of
jager

- Everytime Jeff says "its Doom and Gloom at..." - 1 shot of jager

- Everytime the team 'Keith' is referred to as just being one guy :- 1
shot of jager

- Everytime Brighton & Hove, or Daggers & Redbridge are jokingly
referred to as two different teams playing the same oppo :- 1 shot of
jager

- Everytime when Arbroath striker Kevin Webster scores and Stelling
says "ohh, Sally will be pleased" :- 1 shot of Jager.

- Everytime anything bad happens to Craig Bellemy (injury, og, booked,
arrested for assault etc.) :- 2 celebratory shots of the spirit of
choice.

- Whenever Northampton Town appear on the vidiprinter, last person to
shout out 'Cobblers' :- shot of Jager

Posted by: Catflap Magazine