We're not just being lazy, honest...

Wondering why the blog/on this day/anything seems a bit out of date? Well, we're not just taking a month-long sabbatical, as much as we've definately earned one. Nope, it's because we've got a shiny new website, over at www.catflapfootball.com where you can find all the good stuff you came to know and love from this site, with some brilliant new stuff as well, including Wag of the Day, competitions, the best football videos and the greatest football galleries. Not forgetting the latest issue of our weekly magazine.

Oh, and all the crap stuff we did is also still there.

So come over and have a butchers, www.catflapfootball.com

Posted by: Catflap Magazine

Just in case you'd forgotten...

Questions to ask yourself while watching this video:

1. Why has Steve McClaren forgotten about his grammar?
2. Why is Steve McClaren speaking in a different accent?
3. Why does Steve McClaren sound like a cross between Martin Jol and a character from Allo Allo?
4. Why is Steve McClaren talking this way when the interviewer's English is perfect?
5. How did this man ever become England manager?
6. How did this man ever become England manager?
7. How did this man ever become England manager?
8. How did this man ever become England manager?

Posted by: Lex

Posted by: Lex

Posted by: Lex

San Jose's new striker is an 'England Legend' apparently...

Beckham is clearly educating the masses out there...

Posted by: Lex

He's ditched the gowns, and donned Pool's Euro number...

It seems we're the unofficial Steven Gerrard fashion blog today, as adidas got in touch with us to reveal Liverpool's spanking new European kit for the new season. And who is it resplendent in green? Why Steven Gerrard of course, the man who only hours ago was wearing a lovely gown to recieve his honourary degree. What a guy.

Liverpool's new kit goes on sale Aug 14th. Visit www.adidas.com/liverpoolfc for more information or call 0870 240 4204.

Posted by: Lex

Proof that Emos should stick to My Chemical Romance...

Oh, and apologies for the headline...

Posted by: Lex

And who says they give them to anyone these days?

Look at him. Doesn't he look so smart, his parents must be so proud. For little Stevie has been given an honourary fellowship from Liverpool John Moores University for his contribution to sport. But before he starts feeling too smug about his new qualification, it might be worth telling him that even full time buffoon Sepp Blatter has an Honorary Doctrate of Science from De Montfort University in Leicester, and Italian referee Pierluigi Collina is a Doctor of Sport Science at Hull University. And if those aren't the two most random facts you'll read all day then we'd love to know what is.

Anyway, because we don't often miss a chance to rehash old material, here is our somewhat overly attack-minded Catflap Honorary Degree XI from issue something or other...

Goalkeeper
Bob Wilson
Loughborough University

Defence
Lucas Radebe
Cape Town University

Trevor Brooking
University of Essex

Billy McNeill
Glasgow University

Midfield
Matthew Le Tissier
Southampton Institute

George Best
Queen’s University Belfast

Denis Law
Aberdeen University

Brian Clough
University of Teeside

Forwards
Gary Lineker
University of Leicester

Henrik Larsson
University of Strathclyde

Alan Shearer
Northumbria University


Manager
Bobby Robson
Newcastle University

In the press box
John Motson
Doctor of Letters, University of Hertfordshire

Jeff Stelling
University of Teesside

See more Catflap XI's every week in Catflap Magazine...

Posted by: Lex

The Yank funnyman knows nothing about football.

A typical Chelsea fan then...

If you thought Will Ferrell's comedy was funny, then his taste in football teams is even funnier. Appearing on Jon Stewart's Daily Show, you know the programmee you sometimes catch yourself watching on More4, Ferrell was with fellow chuckle brother John C. Reilly to promote their new movie, Step Brothers. Which, if it's anything like their last film together, Talladega Nights, we know we'll be rushing out to see. And when we say "rushing", what we mean is we'd sooner watch a sex tape featuring David Mellor, Phil Taylor and Anne Widdicombe. With a Max Mosley cameo of course.

Anyway, bizarrely, Ferrell was wearing a Chelsea shirt on the show, though we're not quite shure why. What we do know is though, that with stonewash jeans and a damn fine beer gut, he wouldn't look too out of place on most British terraces.

Thanks to Unprofessional Foul for the screenshot. And to see some Will Ferrell stuff we do love, check out his spoof Old Spice adverts...

Posted by: Lex

Not forgetting this guy of course...

Answers on a postcard...

Posted by: Lex

Big up to US Soccer on their big day...

We love those Yanks here at Catflap, we really do. Forget all that Bush nonsense, all this starting wars for oil rubbish, and as for the next president, we like them both (That's a lie, go Barack!). So to celebrate July 4th, we've decided to post this video of a man who has revolutionised 'soccer' in the US, a man who can strike a mean free kick, as he did wonderfully at a World Cup not too long ago. That's right, it's Eric Wynalda. No, that's not "Ronaldo" pronounced by Jonathan Ross, but the bloke who was simply brilliant on Championship Manager 1997. Happy Independence Day Eric...

Posted by: Lex

He's taking Sheree to Turkey!

So after five years keeping Liverpool's physio company, Harry's decided to pack his bags and head to the footballing hotbed of Turkey, after Galatasaray claimed this morning that the Aussie was set to sign a three-year deal with the Turkish champions. And why wouldn't he, look what it's done to Colin Kazim-Richards' career...

But that's not the only reason he's gone there obviously. For there's also partisan football crowds, £££££, world class players, £££££, an exciting league, £££££, and top class kebabs. In fact he's probably going over there to play for free. We're sure Sheree can't wait to see the sights of Istanbul, Europe's most populus city and the only metropolis situated on two continents. So before he leaves for pastors new, let us watch some of his highlights, as he joins Gazza and Alan Shearer in wondering just what could've been had he not rejected a raging red Scotsman...

Good luck Harry...

Posted by: Lex

For when a rumour mill isn't enough

 

 

Roman Abramovich has emerged as a key figure in the transfer saga of Cristiano Ronaldo.

 

Real Madrid hope to complete the move by the middle of July for €80 million and then will immediately sell Robinho to Chelsea for a generous €50 million thus giving them a net outlay of just €30 million. That is right, Abramovich will make it possible for Real to sign Ronaldo for just £20 million, that is a steal.

 

The operation was agreed earlier this week in a meeting between the Real president Calderon and executives at Banco Santander. The reason Abramovich will assist the transfer is obvious as it will weaken a rival, Fergie will be furious.

Posted by: Rik

The greasy one is clearly a reader...

That's right, only hours after we publish a "make your mind up" plea on this week's front cover, Cristiano Ronaldo has done exactly that. According to the Sun, Ronaldo admitted that he wanted to join Madrid, only hours after Portugal were dumped out of the Euros by Germany (cough, cough, our tip to win...).

Here's what the gurning winger said:

“In the next few days there could be news. The possibilities of me going to Madrid are great but it does not depend on me. I know there is a concrete offer on the table, now let's see if we can reach a deal in the next days. Everyone knows what I want. I have many desires and in the next days they will become clear.”



Catflap: "Make your bloody mind up."
Ronaldo: "OK."
Catflap: "Er, well, can you leave it a week so our cover isn't out of date..."
Ronaldo: "No."
Catflap: "Bugger."

Click here to read this week's mag...

Posted by: Lex

Two English sides in the final, anyone surprised it went to penalties...

Champions League Final, Luzhniki Stadium.

Chelsea 1
Lampard, 45mins

Man Utd 1              
Ronaldo, 26mins

Man Utd win 6-5 on penalties. The Jammy swines...

Posted by: Lex

Well, it was no first half...

Full Time, Luzhniki Stadium, Champions League Final. Extra Time to be played...

Chelsea 1
Lampard, 45mins

Man Utd 1              
Ronaldo, 26mins

Posted by: Lex

It's certainly not last year's FA Cup Final...

Half Time, Luzhniki Stadium, Champions League Final...

Chelsea 1
Lampard, 45mins

Man Utd 1              
Ronaldo, 26mins

Posted by: Lex

Makelele's hilarious challenge can't stop Moan King Cole...

Man United: Van der Sar, Brown, Ferdinand, Vidic, Evra, Carrick, Hargreaves, Scholes, Ronaldo, Rooney, Tevez.
Subs: Kuszczak, Anderson, Giggs, Nani, O'Shea, Fletcher, Silvestre.

Chelsea: Cech, Essien, Terry, Carvalho, A Cole, Makelele, Ballack, Lampard, Malouda, J Cole, Drogba.
Subs: Cudicini, Shevchenko, Mikel, Kalou, Alex, Belletti, Anelka.

Posted by: Lex

Capello goes for the new boys...

It might have been a different story had he been in goal rather than on the Manchester City bench today, but Joe Hart is among several new names in the 31-man England squad to face the USA and Trinidad and Tobago. Everton's Phil Jagielka, Spurs' Tom Huddlestone, Blackburn's Stephen Warnock and Boro's David Wheater are other uncapped players to be given the call up.

Full England squad to play USA and Trinidad and Tobago:

David James (Portsmouth), Joe Hart (Man City), Chris Kirkland (Wigan).

Wayne Bridge (Chelsea), Wes Brown (Man Utd), Ashley Cole (Chelsea), Rio Ferdinand (Man Utd), Phil Jagielka (Everton), Glen Johnson (Chelsea), John Terry (Chelsea), Stephen Warnock (Blackburn), David Wheater (Middlesbrough), Jonathan Woodgate (Tottenham).

Gareth Barry (Aston Villa), David Beckham (LA Galaxy), David Bentley (Blackburn), Joe Cole (Chelsea), Stewart Downing (Middlesbrough), Owen Hargreaves (Man Utd), Tom Huddlestone (Tottenham), Steven Gerrard (Liverpool), Jermaine Jenas (Tottenham), Frank Lampard (Chelsea), Ashley Young (Aston Villa).

Theo Walcott (Arsenal), Gabriel Agbonlahor (Aston Villa), Dean Ashton (West Ham), Peter Crouch (Liverpool), Jermain Defoe (Portsmouth), Michael Owen (Newcastle), Wayne Rooney (Man Utd).

Posted by: Lex

Well we didn’t, but we did get our hands on it…

Catflap’s Sam Feasey and a camera-wielding Matt Sellers need no excuse to rock up and gatecrash most events. And while most of you probably wouldn’t class thousands of Portsmouth fans queuing up outside Fratton Park for FA Cup semi-final tickets as an event per se, we would. And so rock up they did. And as they were entertaining the crowds with their hilarious wisecracks, genius questions and a few Canterbury goodies, guess who should turn up to pay them a visit? That’s right, the jug-eared shiny thing that everyone wants to win.

And here’s a pic of the delighted Lord Feasey with said Cup. While unashamedly wearing gear here’s clear just blagged for free. Though quite why he’s posing with it in the Bronx we’ll never know…

Posted by: Lex

Because we're all British here...

And we're all sticking together in our very own Euro 2008 rejects group...

Wales team to play Luxembourg:
Price, Eardley, Ricketts, Williams, Morgan, Nyatanga, Eastwood, Fletcher, Koumas, Simon Davies, Easter.

Scotland team to play Croatia: Gordon, Hutton, Naysmith, Caldwell, McManus, Darren Fletcher, Hartley, Brown, Maloney, Miller, Steven Fletcher.

Northern Ireland team to play Georgia: Taylor, Baird, Hughes, Craighan, Evans, Gillespie, Johnson, Davis, Elliot, Healy, Lafferty.

Posted by: Lex

England team to play France...

By the way, I'm not drunk, that's set out in Capello's 4-2-3-1 system. Get me...

Posted by: Lex

England players preview the game on Wednesday...

Though Rio's clearly not done his homework. Henry and Saha are injured while Trezeguet wasn't even picked...

Posted by: Lex

The England squad to play France next week...

Goalkeepers: James (Portsmouth), Carson (Aston Villa), Kirkland (Wigan)
Defenders: Bridge (Chelsea), A Cole (Chelsea), Johnson (Portsmouth), Terry (Chelsea), Brown (Man Utd), Lescott (Everton), Ferdinand (Man Utd), Wheater (Middlesbrough), Woodgate (Tottenham), Upson (West Ham)
Midfielders: Barry (Aston Villa), Young (Aston Villa), Bentley (Blackburn), J Cole (Chelsea), Lampard (Chelsea), Wright-Phillips (Chelsea), Beckham (Los Angeles Galaxy), Gerrard (Liverpool), Hargreaves (Man Utd), Downing (Middlesbrough), Jenas (Tottenham)
Forwards: Walcott (Arsenal), Agbonlahor (Aston Villa), Crouch (Liverpool), Rooney (Man Utd), Owen (Newcastle), Defoe (Portsmouth).

Posted by: Lex

Because we're not elitists here...

Rangers v Sporting Lisbon

Bayer Leverkusen v FC Zenit St Petersburg

Bayern Munich v Getafe

Fiorentina v PSV Eindhoven.

The first leg of the quarter-finals will be played Thursday 3rd April.

Posted by: Lex

Posted by: Lex

The best FA Cup in years...

Barnsley v Cardiff City

West Brom v Portsmouth

The semi-finals will take place at the new Wembley on 5th and 6th of April.

Posted by: Catflap Magazine

And by love, we mean he wants to "kill" them of course...

The Special One hasn't been as missed at Stamford Bridge as some maybe thought he would be, with Avram Grant filling the Portuguese large shoes admirably since his departure. And Jose's kept rather quiet in the meantime, as the media turn to Kevin Keegan to fill their newspaper columns with comedy soundbites. But now the big man is back, and with an almighty bang.

"I still feel Chelsea is a part of me, I'll have Chelsea in my heart forever, I left and for five months you couldn't get a bad word from me in relation to the club and you cannot do it in the future too."

Ah, isn't that sweet. Well, until the man tipped to take over at Barcelona was asked about the possibility of coming up against his side in the Champions League in future,

"If I play them in the Champions League, I want to go there and kill them - that's my message."

How pleasant. And they say time is a good healer...

Posted by: Lex

Posted by: Lex

The chaps at Umbro certainly know how to grab attention...

By shoving a reallife billboard on the A4...


Umbro this week utilised a 3D billboard space in West London to launch its new Have Your Say survey. Have Your Say is a year long, global exploration of fan’s opinions on the beautiful game, giving them the chance to share their views on the issues most important to them. At the end of the year, the results - representing the most comprehensive global study into fans’ opinions ever - will be presented to football’s governing bodies.

Among the topics addressed were “Are foreign players the most exciting in the Premiership”?, “Is being a WAG a career option in 2008?” and "Do referees get enough respect?". Alan Shearer even turned up to answer the question “Football. Still the beautiful game?”. You'll be pleased to know he said yes.

We're not quite sure how the drivers along the A4 reacted, but we'll be surprised if there weren't a few near-collisions when the WAGS were on view...

Posted by: Lex

Carling Cup Final tickets winner Daren Chamberlain says thanks to Catflap and King of Shaves...

It was a huge surprise when I got the call to say I had won tickets to Sunday’s Carling Cup Final at Wembley – as a rule I never win anything so this was fantastic! The tube journey up to Wembley was loud, with fans of both teams in good humour and fine voice. Exiting the station, the sea of supporters making their way along Olympic Way was really something to see. We had a great view of the match from the fantastic view that our seats on the halfway line gave us. A few seats along in the row in behind were of a number of former Chelsea players including Nigel Spackman, Dave Beasant, Colin Lee, Colin Pates, and John Hollins amongst others. A lot of the match was spent on the edge of the aforementioned seats. All that was missing was the right result for us, but we’re still on for the treble! Thanks Catflap and King of Shaves.

PS:  If you need to fill any FA Cup Final or Champions League Final seats I’d be only too happy to help out…

Daren.

Posted by: Lex

Maybe now their 'long-suffering' fans will stop moaning for a couple of years...

(And, congrats...)

Posted by: Lex

It's tough in London on £60k a week...

It really is tough getting by in London. Congestion charges, Oyster cards, stuffy tubes, angry taxi drivers. And don't even start on the house prices. Because professional footballer Jonathan Woodgate already has. The poor boy still hasn't found a house since moving to Spurs from Middlesbrough.

'I'm still living in a hotel. We need to find a place to live. We've seen apartments, we've seen houses and all the prices and it's a lot more expensive down here than it is up north. I think you could buy 10 penthouses up north for the price of something down here,' Woddgate told the Daily Mail. But he wasn't finished there,

'House prices are a joke, they are. It's unbelievable. When you are looking about and you see some of the houses, you think “What?”. But that's London and that's the way it is. Hopefully, I can find a house and get settled. You just want the right place for you and you want to get it at the right price. You don't want to end up getting ripped off in any way, do you? 'It's expensive for everyone, isn't it? You don't want to be blowing stupid money on a house.'

Indeed Jonathan. Our sympathies go out to you if it turns out you have to sell your ten penthouse flats on Teeside to buy one in London. Oh the woe...

Posted by: Lex

Catflap on tour: England away kit launch, Watford...

Thanks to Video Ed Matt Sellers for setting it to the campest score ever heard...

Posted by: Lex

No David Beckham, Jermain Defoe or Paul Robinson...

Provisional England squad for Switzerland game...

Goalkeepers: S Carson (Aston Villa), D James (Portsmouth), C Kirkland (Wigan).

Defenders: W Bridge (Chelsea), W Brown (Manchester United), A Cole (Chelsea), C Davies (Aston Villa), R Ferdinand (Manchester United) G Johnson (Portsmouth), L King (Tottenham), J Lescott (Everton), M Richards (Manchester City), N Shorey (Reading), M Upson (West Ham), J Woodgate (Tottenham).

Midfielders: G Barry (Aston Villa), D Bentley (Blackburn), M Carrick (Manchester United), J Cole (Chelsea), S Downing (Middlesbrough), S Gerrard (Liverpool), O Hargreaves (Manchester United), J Jenas (Tottenham), S Wright-Phillips (Chelsea), A Young (Aston Villa).

Forwards: G Agbonlahor (Aston Villa), P Crouch (Liverpool), E Heskey (Wigan), M Owen (Newcastle), W Rooney (Manchester United).

Posted by: Lex

Jonathan Woodgate who has played just 16 times for Middlesbrough this season is in talks with Newcastle after their £7m bid for the defender was accepted by Middlesbrough.

Woodgate left Newcastle in 2004 to join Real Madrid, looks set for a return to the club having reportedly turned down a move to Tottenham.

Woodgate joined his hometown club Middlesbrough for £7m from Real Madrid last summer.

Boro need not worry about his departure too much as they do have players competing for places in defence, such as with David Wheater, Robert Huth, Emanuel Pogatetz and Matthew Bates.

Middlesbrough take on Mansfield today in the FA cup but Woodgate, 28, was not included in Middlesbrough's squad.

Read CATFLAP our FREE Football Magazine http://ezine.catflapmag.com
(or don't, whatever)

Posted by: Crouchy

King Kev's words of wisdom over the years...

"They compare Steve McManaman to Steve Highway and he's nothing like him, but I can see why - it's because he's a bit different"

"The good news for Nigeria is that they're two-nil down very early in the game"

"England have the best fans in the world and Scotland's fans are second to none"

"I don't think there's anyone bigger or smaller than Maradona"

"The tide is very much in our court now"

"You can play with a one armed goalkeeper...not at this level"

Posted by: Catflap Magazine

Curly Kev is back!

He's not the messiah, he's just a very emotional boy...

 

Posted by: Catflap Magazine