The Catflap Magazine Football Blog

 

 Monday, June 16, 2008

Hull City: The entertainers...

It's the big one: Hull v Fulham...


Premier League first day fixtures - Saturday, 16 August
Arsenal v West Brom
Aston Villa v Man City
Bolton v Stoke
Chelsea v Portsmouth
Everton v Blackburn
Hull v Fulham
Man Utd v Newcastle
Middlesbrough v Tottenham
Sunderland v Liverpool
West Ham v Wigan

Posted by: Lex

posted on Monday, June 16, 2008 8:50:59 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Comments [0]
 Wednesday, April 23, 2008

They say that every cloud has a silver lining. Clearly that's bollocks...

Awaydays: Craven Cottage, Fulham

Because we feature Championship away trips too...

Getting there:
From the North: Take the A1/M1 to North Circular A406 follow signs for Harlesden A404, then take the A219 to Hammersmith. When on Broadway follow signs for Fulham, turn right after 1 mile into Harbord Street then left at the end for the ground. From the South/East: Take the South circular A205, follow signs for Putney Bridge A219, cross the bridge and follow signs for Hammersmith for half a mile. Take a left into Bishops Park Road, then right at the end. From the West: Take the M4 to the A4. After two miles branch left into Hammersmith Broadway, then follow signs for Fulham. Turn right after 1 mile into Harbord Street then left at the end for the ground. Or buy a Sat-Nav.

The nearest tube is Putney Bridge on the District Line. Being situated on the banks of the Thames, travelling to the Cottage by boat is an option. Away fans have been known to hire ‘booze cruises’ that pick fans up in Central London and ferry them down the river with a healthy supply of booze so that they are adequately merry by the time they arrive.

Around the ground:
Pub: The Crabtree on Rainville Road is about a ten-minute walk from the ground and is always very accommodating to away fans. The Zulu Bar on Fulham High Street is another good pub in close proximity that is always bustling with away fans on match days. If this is too busy, then there are several other pubs along the same street that are worth a visit.

Grub: There are plenty of fine eateries in the lovely upper class area of Putney. The use of the word grub is frowned upon there. Fulham High Street provides ample places to grab a quick bite as well as the usual mix of burger and hotdog vans and stalls in and around the ground.   

Inside the ground:

Fans/Atmosphere: Fulham fans are notoriously quiet. Having a somewhat bizarre neutral section doesn’t help. Away fans normally outsing the home fans, though you can’t blame them really as they haven’t had much to shout about this season.  

Bogs and Pies: Fulham offer the usual array of food and lukewarm beer to fans. Expect to pay around £3 a burger and £3.50 a beer. The phrase function over fashion comes to mind when thinking about the toilets.

Stewards/Police Friendliness: Fulham fans can be considered the least threatening in English football. Saying that there is normally a noticeable police presence at the ground just in case, (0.000001% chance of trouble) anything does happen.

Fact!
Woy Hodgson is the sole reason why there are still small doubts as to whether humans are descendents from monkeys

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Posted by: Lex

posted on Wednesday, April 23, 2008 5:32:08 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Comments [0]
 Thursday, April 17, 2008

Benitez floors berk mascot. Crowd rejoices...


Tickling facial hair, Yanks, assaulting mascots, Roy Hodgson, more Yanks...


Where:
Craven Cottage, Saturday, 15:00
What you hope to see: Wacky mascot Billy the Badger up to his old antics again, this time giving Rafa Benitez a cheeky tickle on his goatee. Then Rafa smacking him square on the jaw.
What you’re likely to get: Liverpool rotating their entire squad with household name Nabil El Zhar popping up with the winner. Roy Hodgson then insisting his side can stay up, when there's more chance of Liverpool becoming interesting again...
Fact!: Fulham are slowly trying to buy a whole team of American players with Mohammed Al-Fayed planning to move them to the States and change the name to West London White Soccer Star to play in the MLS. True Story.

Posted by: Lex

posted on Thursday, April 17, 2008 5:23:50 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Comments [0]
 Thursday, March 06, 2008

Because he's worth it...

Hairpieces, roly-ploy throw-ins and Grumpy Old Men...

Where: Ewood Park, 15.00
What you hope to see: A Jimmy Bullard comedy masterclass, featuring roly-poly throw-ins, wisecracks with the fans, winks at the camera, and hugs with the ref.
What you’re likely to get: Fulham are thumped, later relegated, Hodsgon is sacked, and is then confirmed as a regular in the new series of BBC's Grumpy Old Men.
Fact! Jimmy Bullard is a member of the national hairpiece alliance along with Terry Wogan and Bruce Forsyth.


Posted by: Lex

posted on Thursday, March 06, 2008 6:26:58 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Comments [0]
 Friday, February 01, 2008

It's the inaugral Flapometer!

(Until we come up with a better name anyway...)


Back in the day when Asics were cool...

Yes, it's one of those 'winners and losers of the week' things you see in the free papers...


Top Cats...

Gary McAllister
Gary Mac is back in the big time after five years out of the game. Well, we say big time, we mean League One. But charged with the task of getting Leeds back to the big time. His brief but impressive managerial record so far suggests Leeds have got a fair chance under him, and the fans are not exactly inconsolable over the departure of the growling little one.

Derby
We’re a bunch of softies here at Catflap. And they need a little cheering up over there. Which is why we’ve put them in, after a sterling effort to get a draw at home to high-flying Man City, infront of their new owner, a former wrestler. Sadly, not even Hulk Hogan would save them now.

Ronaldo
We get the feeling he may well feature in this weekly barometer rather too much. But when he scores a free-kick that is quite literally as Catflap as they come, we can hardly leave him out this week can we?

Harry Redknapp

Finally got his man for £12m. When he realises a night in Portsmouth is best spent in the house, Jermain Defoe could thrive under Redknapp and become the final piece to the Portsmouth puzzle, allowing them to really push on into Europe.

Jeremie Aliadiere
While only around 600 spectators witnessed it, Aliadiere actually scored a goal, with the winning strike against Wigan in midweek. Good timing too, with the arrival of £12m striker Alfonso Alves. That should add another 350 to the average Boro gate then.


In a Flap...

Gary Megson
There’s not much you can do when you’re forced to sell your one world class player for £12m. But buying a quality replacement who’ll guarantee the vital goals to keep you up would be a start. So who does the Ginger Mourinho sign to fill a Nicolas Anelka-shaped hole? Grzegorz Rasiak. On loan from Southampton. That’s ‘eight Premier League appearances, no goals’ Grzegorz Rasiak.

Pascal Chimbonda

"Kevin Keegan has approached me and they've offered me more money. I am definitely leaving Spurs. It's all about the money. I don't care about the final, I don't care about the cup." Chimbonda is still at Spurs. Presumably he won’t be wanting to play in that cup final then.


Hicks knew Rafa had lost it when he named himself upfront...

Liverpool
The world is getting bored, very bored, with the whole Liverpool thing. Yes, Rafa being sacked would be slightly harsh, but if that’s what it takes for this whole charade to end, then for God’s sake get the American axe out. After a week which included re-financing, a last minute loss on the pitch and now some ridiculous pipe dream about fans owning the club, all we ask is that it ends. Please.

Kevin Keegan
“He’ll bring back the entertainers!” they all proclaimed in their incomprehensible Geordie drawl. Result: three games, no wins, no goals. “He’ll attract the big names back to the club!” they insisted. Result: Keegan signs a 17-year-old Italian that nobody’s heard of. “He’ll grab the club by the scruff of the neck and sort it out!” Result: The chairman goes over his head to bring in Dennis Wise. Looking good Kev.

Roy Hodgson

Roy: January 6th: "What you don't want is to bring in players on a short-term basis. We need players good enough not only to help us stay in this league but to assist us in building an even stronger team next season. What we don't want to be doing is signing people who are just going to make our list of players longer." Roy’s transfer window signings were Jari Litmanen (36), Toni Kallio (29), Paul Stalteri (30). Clearly all long-term players there then Roy...

Posted by: Lex

posted on Friday, February 01, 2008 12:17:16 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Comments [0]
 Friday, January 25, 2008
Fulham paid a record transfer fee for the division of over £2 million for Coleman in late 1997. He quickly became club captain, and led Fulham to promotion under manager Kevin Keegan in 1998–99 to the First Division. Although he has put some weight on since his time in Spain.



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(or don't, whatever)

Posted by: Crouchy

posted on Friday, January 25, 2008 5:37:39 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Comments [0]

 

 

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