The Catflap Magazine Football Blog

 

 Friday, August 01, 2008


The Steve McClaren appreciation society at their annual gathering...


Second choice Steve to take on Arsene...

Just when you thought Steve had been deservedly banished to the backwaters of European football with FC Twente, it turns out we'll be seeing him a lot sooner than we would've imagined, and hoped. His new side will be going out to Arsenal in the qualifying rounds for the Champions League, drawn today.

UEFA CHAMPIONS LEAGUE,
Qualifying 3rd round draw:

Aalborg/Modrica v RANGERS/Kaunas
Standard Liege v LIVERPOOL
FC Twente v ARSENAL

Posted by: Lex

posted on Friday, August 01, 2008 10:53:00 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Comments [0]
 Thursday, July 31, 2008


"First one to the changing room gets to do my hair!"


First pictures from Keano's first training session...


Robbie Keane couldn't wait to sing his new strike partner's praises at his first press conference, but who'd have thought he was that eager to team up with Fernando Torres. And don't they look sweet. Could this be the start of a beautiful relationship?

Thanks to kickette.com

Posted by: Lex

posted on Thursday, July 31, 2008 5:44:18 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Comments [0]
 Monday, July 28, 2008


Posted by: Lex

posted on Monday, July 28, 2008 1:31:12 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Comments [0]
 Friday, July 25, 2008


He's ditched the gowns, and donned Pool's Euro number...


It seems we're the unofficial Steven Gerrard fashion blog today, as adidas got in touch with us to reveal Liverpool's spanking new European kit for the new season. And who is it resplendent in green? Why Steven Gerrard of course, the man who only hours ago was wearing a lovely gown to recieve his honourary degree. What a guy.

Liverpool's new kit goes on sale Aug 14th. Visit www.adidas.com/liverpoolfc for more information or call 0870 240 4204.

Posted by: Lex

posted on Friday, July 25, 2008 4:50:50 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Comments [0]



And who says they give them to anyone these days?

Look at him. Doesn't he look so smart, his parents must be so proud. For little Stevie has been given an honourary fellowship from Liverpool John Moores University for his contribution to sport. But before he starts feeling too smug about his new qualification, it might be worth telling him that even full time buffoon Sepp Blatter has an Honorary Doctrate of Science from De Montfort University in Leicester, and Italian referee Pierluigi Collina is a Doctor of Sport Science at Hull University. And if those aren't the two most random facts you'll read all day then we'd love to know what is.

Anyway, because we don't often miss a chance to rehash old material, here is our somewhat overly attack-minded Catflap Honorary Degree XI from issue something or other...

Goalkeeper

Bob Wilson
Loughborough University

Defence
Lucas Radebe
Cape Town University

Trevor Brooking
University of Essex

Billy McNeill
Glasgow University

Midfield

Matthew Le Tissier
Southampton Institute

George Best
Queen’s University Belfast

Denis Law
Aberdeen University

Brian Clough
University of Teeside

Forwards
Gary Lineker
University of Leicester

Henrik Larsson
University of Strathclyde

Alan Shearer
Northumbria University


Manager
Bobby Robson
Newcastle University

In the press box
John Motson
Doctor of Letters, University of Hertfordshire

Jeff Stelling
University of Teesside

See more Catflap XI's every week in Catflap Magazine...

Posted by: Lex

posted on Friday, July 25, 2008 12:40:17 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Comments [0]
 Friday, July 04, 2008


He's taking Sheree to Turkey!


So after five years keeping Liverpool's physio company, Harry's decided to pack his bags and head to the footballing hotbed of Turkey, after Galatasaray claimed this morning that the Aussie was set to sign a three-year deal with the Turkish champions. And why wouldn't he, look what it's done to Colin Kazim-Richards' career...

But that's not the only reason he's gone there obviously. For there's also partisan football crowds, £££££, world class players, £££££, an exciting league, £££££, and top class kebabs. In fact he's probably going over there to play for free. We're sure Sheree can't wait to see the sights of Istanbul, Europe's most populus city and the only metropolis situated on two continents. So before he leaves for pastors new, let us watch some of his highlights, as he joins Gazza and Alan Shearer in wondering just what could've been had he not rejected a raging red Scotsman...

Good luck Harry...


Posted by: Lex

posted on Friday, July 04, 2008 12:29:40 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Comments [0]
 Monday, June 16, 2008

Hull City: The entertainers...

It's the big one: Hull v Fulham...


Premier League first day fixtures - Saturday, 16 August
Arsenal v West Brom
Aston Villa v Man City
Bolton v Stoke
Chelsea v Portsmouth
Everton v Blackburn
Hull v Fulham
Man Utd v Newcastle
Middlesbrough v Tottenham
Sunderland v Liverpool
West Ham v Wigan

Posted by: Lex

posted on Monday, June 16, 2008 8:50:59 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Comments [0]
 Friday, April 25, 2008

"Right lads, it's time to tell Rafa to get rid of that goatee..."

adidas have sent us the first images of Liverpool's new home strip for next season.

Here's what they have to say about it,
 
"The new stylish kit is in classic Liverpool red.  An embroidered Liver Bird is positioned on the back of the shirt and the inner neck of the shirt has a red chequered area inspired by the flags of The Kop. The shirt also carries a “This is Anfield” inscription, inspired by the famous Anfield sign. The new shirt collar is ribbed with a v-neck which has always been well received on shirts from the past."  

The new kit goes on sale on May 22nd 2008. For more info www.adidas.com/liverpoolfc

Posted by: Lex

posted on Friday, April 25, 2008 10:56:16 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Comments [0]
 Thursday, April 17, 2008

Benitez floors berk mascot. Crowd rejoices...


Tickling facial hair, Yanks, assaulting mascots, Roy Hodgson, more Yanks...


Where:
Craven Cottage, Saturday, 15:00
What you hope to see: Wacky mascot Billy the Badger up to his old antics again, this time giving Rafa Benitez a cheeky tickle on his goatee. Then Rafa smacking him square on the jaw.
What you’re likely to get: Liverpool rotating their entire squad with household name Nabil El Zhar popping up with the winner. Roy Hodgson then insisting his side can stay up, when there's more chance of Liverpool becoming interesting again...
Fact!: Fulham are slowly trying to buy a whole team of American players with Mohammed Al-Fayed planning to move them to the States and change the name to West London White Soccer Star to play in the MLS. True Story.

Posted by: Lex

posted on Thursday, April 17, 2008 5:23:50 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Comments [0]
 Friday, March 14, 2008


The Chaaaaaaaammmpiiioooooonnns Leeeeaaaaggue Trophy...


The Reds and the Gunners to duke it out...



Arsenal v Liverpool

AS Roma v Manchester United

Schalke v FC Barcelona

Fenerbahce v Chelsea


First legs to be played 1st and 2nd April and second legs to be played 8th and 9th April.

Semi-Final draw

Arse/Liv v Fener/Chelsea

Schalke/Barca v AS Roma/Man Utd


Posted by: Lex

posted on Friday, March 14, 2008 12:17:15 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Comments [0]
 Thursday, March 06, 2008

It's a rocket!

Catflap of the week: Steven Gerrard, Liverpool v West Ham.

Posted by: Lex

posted on Thursday, March 06, 2008 10:17:19 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Comments [0]
 Friday, February 15, 2008

More on field scraps at Old Trafford, an absent Al Bangura, Alan Pardew's height and Kevin Blackwell in a chopper...


"Here's the squad that Bryan's left you with Kevin..."

Liverpool v Barnsley
Where Anfield, 15.00
What you hope to see A rollicking good cup tie, with 14th in the Championship Barnsley displaying the ‘spirit of Havant’ and pegging back the mighty Reds.
What you’re likely to get The dullest tie of the round, with a deflected Gerrard strike and an ugly Crouch header settling the game after 20 minutes.
Fact! Steven Gerrard is a freeman of the Borough of Knowsley.

Man Utd v Arsenal

Where Old Trafford, 17.15
What you hope to see Let’s not beat around the bush here, we’d all love to see another good scrap circa 2004. Only with Phillipe Senderos as Martin Keown and Ronaldo as Ruud van Nistelrooy.
What you’re likely to get Garth Crooks bamboozling Arsene Wenger with incomprehensible non-questions before and after the match. How is this man still in a job?
Fact! Pizza will not be served at the after-match buffet.

Charlton v Watford
Where The Valley, 15.00
What you hope to see John-Joe O’Toole to score on his return for Watford and then revealing that he was invented by Enid Blyton to be a character in the Famous Five.
What you’re likely to get Al Bangura not playing any part for Watford. Again.
Fact! Alan Pardew is 5ft 11in.

Sheff Utd v Middlesbrough

Where Bramall Lane, Sunday, 14.00
What you hope to see Kevin Blackwell to arrive at Bramall Lane in a helicopter.
What you’re likely to get A subdued Bramall Lane wondering how replacing one clueless dullard with another is ever going to work.
Fact! In the event of a bear attack, a recording of Bryan Robson’s voice will send it to sleep and render it harmless.

Posted by: Lex

posted on Friday, February 15, 2008 12:12:07 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Comments [0]
 Friday, February 01, 2008

It's the inaugral Flapometer!

(Until we come up with a better name anyway...)


Back in the day when Asics were cool...

Yes, it's one of those 'winners and losers of the week' things you see in the free papers...


Top Cats...

Gary McAllister
Gary Mac is back in the big time after five years out of the game. Well, we say big time, we mean League One. But charged with the task of getting Leeds back to the big time. His brief but impressive managerial record so far suggests Leeds have got a fair chance under him, and the fans are not exactly inconsolable over the departure of the growling little one.

Derby
We’re a bunch of softies here at Catflap. And they need a little cheering up over there. Which is why we’ve put them in, after a sterling effort to get a draw at home to high-flying Man City, infront of their new owner, a former wrestler. Sadly, not even Hulk Hogan would save them now.

Ronaldo
We get the feeling he may well feature in this weekly barometer rather too much. But when he scores a free-kick that is quite literally as Catflap as they come, we can hardly leave him out this week can we?

Harry Redknapp

Finally got his man for £12m. When he realises a night in Portsmouth is best spent in the house, Jermain Defoe could thrive under Redknapp and become the final piece to the Portsmouth puzzle, allowing them to really push on into Europe.

Jeremie Aliadiere
While only around 600 spectators witnessed it, Aliadiere actually scored a goal, with the winning strike against Wigan in midweek. Good timing too, with the arrival of £12m striker Alfonso Alves. That should add another 350 to the average Boro gate then.


In a Flap...

Gary Megson
There’s not much you can do when you’re forced to sell your one world class player for £12m. But buying a quality replacement who’ll guarantee the vital goals to keep you up would be a start. So who does the Ginger Mourinho sign to fill a Nicolas Anelka-shaped hole? Grzegorz Rasiak. On loan from Southampton. That’s ‘eight Premier League appearances, no goals’ Grzegorz Rasiak.

Pascal Chimbonda

"Kevin Keegan has approached me and they've offered me more money. I am definitely leaving Spurs. It's all about the money. I don't care about the final, I don't care about the cup." Chimbonda is still at Spurs. Presumably he won’t be wanting to play in that cup final then.


Hicks knew Rafa had lost it when he named himself upfront...

Liverpool
The world is getting bored, very bored, with the whole Liverpool thing. Yes, Rafa being sacked would be slightly harsh, but if that’s what it takes for this whole charade to end, then for God’s sake get the American axe out. After a week which included re-financing, a last minute loss on the pitch and now some ridiculous pipe dream about fans owning the club, all we ask is that it ends. Please.

Kevin Keegan
“He’ll bring back the entertainers!” they all proclaimed in their incomprehensible Geordie drawl. Result: three games, no wins, no goals. “He’ll attract the big names back to the club!” they insisted. Result: Keegan signs a 17-year-old Italian that nobody’s heard of. “He’ll grab the club by the scruff of the neck and sort it out!” Result: The chairman goes over his head to bring in Dennis Wise. Looking good Kev.

Roy Hodgson

Roy: January 6th: "What you don't want is to bring in players on a short-term basis. We need players good enough not only to help us stay in this league but to assist us in building an even stronger team next season. What we don't want to be doing is signing people who are just going to make our list of players longer." Roy’s transfer window signings were Jari Litmanen (36), Toni Kallio (29), Paul Stalteri (30). Clearly all long-term players there then Roy...

Posted by: Lex

posted on Friday, February 01, 2008 12:17:16 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Comments [0]
 Friday, January 25, 2008
During the 1961-1962 season Roger Hunt managed five hat tricks for Liverpool.



Read our FREE Football Magazine http://ezine.catflapmag.com
(or don't, it's better than http://www.virtualstapler.com/ though)

Posted by: Crouchy

posted on Friday, January 25, 2008 1:23:56 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Comments [0]

 

 

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