Hairpieces, roly-ploy throw-ins and Grumpy Old Men...

Where: Ewood Park, 15.00
What you hope to see: A Jimmy Bullard comedy masterclass, featuring roly-poly throw-ins, wisecracks with the fans, winks at the camera, and hugs with the ref.
What you’re likely to get: Fulham are thumped, later relegated, Hodsgon is sacked, and is then confirmed as a regular in the new series of BBC's Grumpy Old Men.
Fact! Jimmy Bullard is a member of the national hairpiece alliance along with Terry Wogan and Bruce Forsyth.

Posted by: Lex

England's David Bentley speaks to us at the Umbro England kit launch last month...

Read the full interview in the latest issue of Catflap Magazine...

Posted by: Lex

And by love, we mean he wants to "kill" them of course...

The Special One hasn't been as missed at Stamford Bridge as some maybe thought he would be, with Avram Grant filling the Portuguese large shoes admirably since his departure. And Jose's kept rather quiet in the meantime, as the media turn to Kevin Keegan to fill their newspaper columns with comedy soundbites. But now the big man is back, and with an almighty bang.

"I still feel Chelsea is a part of me, I'll have Chelsea in my heart forever, I left and for five months you couldn't get a bad word from me in relation to the club and you cannot do it in the future too."

Ah, isn't that sweet. Well, until the man tipped to take over at Barcelona was asked about the possibility of coming up against his side in the Champions League in future,

"If I play them in the Champions League, I want to go there and kill them - that's my message."

How pleasant. And they say time is a good healer...

Posted by: Lex

£20 off Road To Wembley canvas at Liquid Art...

With our football canvas competition soon set to close, those kind fellows at Liquid Art are giving you more incentive to get the artwork based on London's tube map. For those not lucky enough to win the canvas in our competition, Liquid Art are offering £20 off the normal price of it. If you fancy one, or simply want to check out their other stuff, check out their website, www.liquidartonline.com, or call them on 07842 219965.

Posted by: Lex

It's a rocket!

Catflap of the week: Steven Gerrard, Liverpool v West Ham.

Posted by: Lex

God bless those chaps at the Sun...

They know what the people want. With Arsenal set to face AC Milan tonight in the second leg of their Champions League last 16 tie, who better to turn to for an in-depth analysis of their Italian opponents? That's right, the co-host of Five's Football Italiano programme. Worry not, it's not Radio One berk Chappers, but Laura Esposto, who just so happens to be drop-dead gorgeous.

He's what she had to say: "I was at the Emirates for the first Arsenal-Milan game and Arsenal were very good technically. That's not so normal for an English team. Arsenal will miss Eduardo. Maybe they will play Manu Adebayor as a striker on his own with Cesc Fabregas and Co filling midfield. We have Alexandre Pato, a young player. He played from the start of the first leg but was just back from a bad ankle injury. He didn't play as well as he could, not like he can play. He scored against Catana recently, so probably Pato will be our big danger."



Something tells me they may seek her expert views next week when Liverpool go to Inter Milan too. And why not...

Posted by: Lex

Posted by: Lex

One man to save his job, another to lose it...

If Les Dennis was to ask a random football fan in the street to give him one indesputable fact, 99 out of 100 people would respond with "Newcastle are rubbish". That one other person would simply ask why Les is bothering him in the street, since he no longer presents Family Fortunes anyway.

But before we descend into the merits of having Les back on primetime television ahead of that buffoon that goes by the name of Vernon Kay, let us advise you on a good bet for this weekend involving the aforementioned 'Toon Army'. Their home tie against Blackburn is not the type of game a team needs when it is low on confidence and struggling to get a first win under a new manager. And we reckon the outcome of the game will all come down to the first goal. They're great if they have an early lead to shout about, but go a goal behind, and St James' is not a fun place to be a home player.

So we've got two bets to lump on this weekend,

If Newcastle are to have a good day, Michael Owen will score first @ 5-1 and they'll go on to get their first win under the Geordie Messiah.

But if Newcastle fall behind early on, Benni McCarthy is likely to be the man to inflict the initial pain @ 11-2, before St. James' Park empties quicker than an old man's bladder.

Of course there are 20 other players who could score at the weekend, but we love a bit of melodramatic man v man action here at Catflap. Er, not like that...

Which one do you fancy? Take your pick here

Posted by: Lex

Posted by: Catflap Magazine