Catflap Football Blog – It’s not about cats, it’s about FOOTBALL

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Jim Rosenthal visits the London Planetorium...

Mid-90's dance music, Simon Royce on his high-horse, and Brian Moore's beautiful cranium...

Where: Priestfield, 15.00
What you hope to see: Dance music trio Dario G making a comeback before the game to inspire the Crewe players for this high-pressure League One relegation clash. Only they’ve changed their name to Stevie H...
What you’re likely to get: A fuming Simon Royce shouting “I used to play for Charlton you know” after the third goal flies in…
Fact! Gillingham’s online fanzine has the best name in the English League, Brian Moore’s Head Looks Uncannily Like London Planetarium.

Posted by: Lex

Weekender

posted on Thursday, March 13, 2008 6:45:03 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)

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Portsmouth v Aston Villa

The second half had started but Doug was busting and wasn't giving up now...

Queuing ages for the bog, David James being funny, and a ruddy cowbell...

Where: Fratton Park, 15.00
What you hope to see: Pompey trailing with a minute to go and David James going up for a corner. Then Villa scoring on the break with James scampering down the pitch. Because we don’t care what anyone says, that’s always hilarious.
What you’re likely to get: That berk ringing his cowbell for 90 minutes. The rest of the crowd imploring the police to confiscate it. Or to beat him with it.
Fact! If an away fan goes to the toilet during half time at Fratton Park, they will never return. Before the 87th minute anyway…

Posted by: Lex

Weekender

posted on Thursday, March 13, 2008 5:53:11 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)

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Blackpool v Preston

"Well that was a great idea Dave, I can't see a bloody thing..."

Seagulls, tangerines in space, climbing Blackpool Tower and scary women in fancy dress

Where: Bloomfield Road, 12.30
What you hope to see: Every single one of the nine thousand Blackpool fans proudly adorning a tangerine kit. Meaning that Bloomfield Road becomes the first stadium to be seen from space.
What you’re likely to get: Cheeky scamps unwilling to pay for a match ticket climbing to the top of the tower to see the game. Only to find that it’s actually more expensive to do so.
Fact! Seagulls are no longer Blackpool’s biggest pest. They were overtaken in 2006 by rowdy women on Hen Parties.

Posted by: Lex

Weekender

posted on Thursday, March 13, 2008 5:22:40 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)

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Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Little England...

Hands up who needs a stylist...

English dominance in Europe? Keep quiet about the UEFA Cup then...

While everyone is harping on about how great the Premier League is, it might be worth remembering the UEFA Cup. The situation the remaining English sides in the competition find themselves in is a sobering one. Everton are 2-0 down against Fiorentina, Spurs one goal behind before their trip to Eindhoven, while Bolton visit Lisbon needing at least two goals to win. So maybe the manic backslapping should at least be put on hold until the outcome of these games is known.

But if you still think the Premier League is the best thing since the phrase "best thing since sliced bread", then you might want to put your money where your mouth is. Not litrally though, because you don't know where it's been. But if you fancy all three sides to make it a full house for the English contingent in Europe, then with Everton at 7/2, Spurs at 7/4 and Bolton at 11/4, you'll pocket a cool £464.06 from just a tenner.

Fancy it? Lump On!

Posted by: Lex

Bolton | Everton | Lump On! | Tottenham Hotspur

posted on Wednesday, March 12, 2008 7:02:17 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)

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Birds in football shirts!

"Right, which one do you want to be, Sorrow or Joy?"

Notts County's Mr and Mrs Magpie...

It's the next installment of Catflap's mascot guide...

Dear God, where are these things from? These 'things', belong to Notts County.

So what in the blazers are they? They are Mr and Mrs Magpie, and they'd like a bit more respect if you don't mind.

Apologies. But they look like they should be in a Stephen King film. What is it? Not it, but they. They are two magpies. There has to be two you see, as one is unlucky. You know the ditty, “One for sorrow, two for..."

Yeah I get it. I just think if they'd stuck with one it would be more apt. It's hard to argue with that really...

So what are their characteristics? Well, they are big birds who walk round and speak to the kids. They usually get to away games as well.

They sound great. Do they have any special moves Erm, not really. They just walk round a lot.

I don't know why I bother. How popular are they at Meadow Lane then? I reckon a decent six out of ten.

You just can't be bothered today can you? Give me an interesting fact about them... Erm, they took part in the National Mascot Grand National. And finished it.

I give up... So do I...

Posted by: Lex

Mascot Guide

posted on Wednesday, March 12, 2008 1:36:03 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)

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Monday, March 10, 2008

FA Cup Semi-Final draw

The best FA Cup in years...

Barnsley v Cardiff City

West Brom v Portsmouth

The semi-finals will take place at the new Wembley on 5th and 6th of April.

Posted by: Catflap Magazine

Football News | Portsmouth

posted on Monday, March 10, 2008 1:32:41 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)

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Friday, March 07, 2008

Man United v Portsmouth

"Mange-tout Rodders..."

Clipped eyebrows, Herman, and "magnifique, Hooky Street"

Where: Old Trafford, 12.45
What you hope to see: Ronaldo refusing to turn up or be seen in public because his six-year old nephew shaved his eyebrows off in his sleep.
What you’re likely to get: Herman Hreidarsson. That’s it really, we just hadn’t laughed at his name in a while.
Fact! Harry Redknapp has never seen Only Fools and Horses.

Posted by: Lex

Manchester United | Portsmouth | Weekender

posted on Friday, March 07, 2008 1:23:30 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)

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Barnsley v Chelsea

"The away changing rooms will be ready in an hour Mr. Drogba..."

Tiny sheds, major sulks, and Northern pigeons...

Where: Oakwell, 17.30
What you hope to see: Avram Grant forced to do his teamtalk from a tiny Wickes shed.
What you’re likely to get: Nicolas Anelka and Didier Drogba in a 90-minute sulk-off, with the winner the one who can insult the ref, dive and throw a strop the most during the game.
Fact! 99% of Barnsley fans own a pigeon.

Posted by: Lex

Chelsea | Weekender

posted on Friday, March 07, 2008 1:07:11 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)

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Vodafone 'Champions Wanted' 5-a-side competition