Sir Les talks to Catflap...

Posted by: Lex

Hungarian football: top class...

Posted by: Lex

But will Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool or Man Utd be using it?

If, like us, you've been watching Champions League football all week with only one question running through your mind, "Just what will the Champions League final football look like this season?", then we are among the first to give you the answer. Set to be launched in Moscow in about 15 minutes time, this is the adidas “Finale Moscow”, the very ball that will be used at the final in, you've guessed it, Moscow, on May 21st.

According to adidas boffins, it's new PSC-Texture™ surface structure allows players to control and direct the ball perfectly in all weather conditions. The PSC-Texture™ consists of a sophisticated and extremely fine structure on the ball's outer skin that guarantees optimum grip between ball and boot. The adidas “Finale Moscow” is constructed out of 14 panels using revolutionary Thermal Bonding Technology.
You can all sleep easy now...

Posted by: Lex

Aston Villa's Hercules the Lion...

Well find us a Villa player who rhymes with wardrobe...

Well what a damn fine picture that is isn't it...

You just had to mention it didn't you? I spent ages searching for a decent picture and could only find this one. Naively I thought you wouldn't mention it...

Really? You honestly thought I wouldn't mention that the focus of this whole feature can barely be seen in the main picture?

No I suppose not. Can we just get on with it?

Yep. Name?

Hercules The Lion…

Another animal in a football kit? Original.

Tell me about it. Hardly the most inspiring thing to boost fan and team morale, is it? It could be worse though I guess. You know the old saying, “One lion is better than a ferret and an otter.”

Because I want this to finish today, I'm going to ignore that. What's it's characteristics then?

Er, friendly? Jovial? Upbeat? Anything that helps keep him in a job. Durable and robust, apparently.

Robust?

Yep. He's named after the Hercules Cycle and Motor Company, one of Aston’s most successful companies back in the day. The name Hercules was chosen for its associations with durability and robustness. The original company, which is now part of Raleigh, dissolved in December 2003… a month that saw Villa lose only one out of five Premiership fixtures, as well as a 2-1 win over Chelsea in the League Cup. Make of that what you will.

I'm struggling to make much of it to be honest. Since we can't see a bleeding thing in the pic, what does he look like?

I'm ignoring the subtle dig. He has a pretty impressive tail, a scarily spherical head, both of which may or may not possess magical powers. He's known to throw down the occasional disco move, and, unsurprisingly, has the meanest roar in the Premier League.

Course he has. Any claims to fame?

Erm...Hercules is the lovechild of Cowardly The Lion (of Wizard Of Oz fame) and Chimera (known to put herself about during the times of Ancient Greek Mythology)….

That's bollocks isn't it?

Yes.

Posted by: Lex

Well we didn’t, but we did get our hands on it…

Catflap’s Sam Feasey and a camera-wielding Matt Sellers need no excuse to rock up and gatecrash most events. And while most of you probably wouldn’t class thousands of Portsmouth fans queuing up outside Fratton Park for FA Cup semi-final tickets as an event per se, we would. And so rock up they did. And as they were entertaining the crowds with their hilarious wisecracks, genius questions and a few Canterbury goodies, guess who should turn up to pay them a visit? That’s right, the jug-eared shiny thing that everyone wants to win.

And here’s a pic of the delighted Lord Feasey with said Cup. While unashamedly wearing gear here’s clear just blagged for free. Though quite why he’s posing with it in the Bronx we’ll never know…

Posted by: Lex

Like this is your life, only without an oversized red book...

Posted by: Lex

Posted by: Lex

This mutt is actually better than several members of the England squad...

Posted by: Lex

Awaydays: Old Trafford, Manchester United

It's the big one in the North West...

Getting there:
By road, leave the M60 at either junction 7 or 9. From junction 7 - route from clockwise M60. Leave the M60 at junction 7 and join the A56 Manchester bound. Follow signs for Manchester United then  turn left into Sir Matt Busby Way. The car park is situated right in front of the stadium. From junction 9 - route from anti-clockwise M60. Leave the M60 at junction 9 and join Parkway A5081 towards Trafford Park. At the first roundabout take the 3rd exit onto Village Way. At the next roundabout take the second exit onto Wharfside Way. Turn right at the junction with Sir Matt Busby Way. Car parking is situated on the left in front of the stadium.

Alternatively you can travel via the Metrolink, which stops at Old Trafford Station, just five minutes away from the ground. It'll be chocker and a bit crammed, but it'll give you a good opportunity to bond with fellow fans. By bond, we mean your hands may end up places you didn't want them to be...

Around the Ground:
Pub: The Dog and Partridge is described as the place to go for a pre-match drink and sing-song. Your typical old-fashioned pub, it’s crowded and smelly, but somehow still worth a visit. If you fancy something a bit quieter, then The Quadrant on Kings Road is about 10 minutes walk from the ground.

Grub: Like at any other ground in the country, Old Trafford is surrounded by burger vans offering the finest in post or pre-match burgers, hotdogs and chips. Other than that, every eatery in Manchester is packed on match-days, so basically eat wherever you can get served.

Inside the Ground:
Fans/Atmosphere: Although some claim that the atmosphere at Old Trafford isn’t what it used to be, when the 75,000 strong crowd at the Theatre of Dreams is in full voice, it can still generate enough noise to wake a baby.

Bogs and Pies: As the Premier League's most impressive stadium, it's no surprise that Old Trafford boasts better than adequate facilities. But don’t forget 70k plus are using them, so don’t expect the ultimate in luxury. As for Pukka Pies, you cant beat ‘em.

Stewards/Police Friendliness: Stewards are as they are at most grounds; they can be a pain but if you do as you're told there won’t be a problem. As you would expect, there's always a big police presence at Old Trafford, but the same rule applies. Beware though, there are often lots of mounted police around, so watch out for what they leave behind. The horses of course, not the police.

Fact!
An anagram of Old Trafford is Lard Trod Off...

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Posted by: Lex