The Catflap Magazine Football Blog

 

 Wednesday, April 16, 2008


#2. Jeff catches FIFA honcho up to no good in a cupboard...


Q: At the FIFA Christmas Party you catch Sepp Blatter in flagrante with a secretary in the stationary cupboard. Knowing he has the power to appoint the officials for the World Cup Final, do you use the knowledge to your advantage.

Jeff: "Obviously the sight of Sepp performing would rule out joining in, so I think I would pull out my notebook and take their names, quickly introduce video technology and then suggest to Sepp that I would make an ideal World Cup Final referee. Should that appointment not be forthcoming then perhaps YouTube and Mrs Blatter would get the benefit of an action replay."

See You Are The Jeff every week in Catflap Magazine.

Posted by: Lex

posted on Wednesday, April 16, 2008 3:42:45 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Comments [0]
 Monday, April 14, 2008

Sir Les talks to Catflap...


Posted by: Lex

posted on Monday, April 14, 2008 1:03:42 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Comments [0]
 Thursday, April 03, 2008

Hungarian football: top class...


Posted by: Lex

posted on Thursday, April 03, 2008 5:26:31 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Comments [0]

Balls. And Moscow...

But will Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool or Man Utd be using it?

If, like us, you've been watching Champions League football all week with only one question running through your mind, "Just what will the Champions League final football look like this season?", then we are among the first to give you the answer. Set to be launched in Moscow in about 15 minutes time, this is the adidas “Finale Moscow”, the very ball that will be used at the final in, you've guessed it, Moscow, on May 21st.


According to adidas boffins, it's new PSC-Texture™ surface structure allows players to control and direct the ball perfectly in all weather conditions. The PSC-Texture™ consists of a sophisticated and extremely fine structure on the ball's outer skin that guarantees optimum grip between ball and boot. The adidas “Finale Moscow” is constructed out of 14 panels using revolutionary Thermal Bonding Technology.
You can all sleep easy now...

Posted by: Lex

posted on Thursday, April 03, 2008 1:47:08 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Comments [0]
 Wednesday, April 02, 2008


Hercules the Lion. Somewhere...


Aston Villa's Hercules the Lion...

Well find us a Villa player who rhymes with wardrobe...

Well what a damn fine picture that is isn't it...

You just had to mention it didn't you? I spent ages searching for a decent picture and could only find this one. Naively I thought you wouldn't mention it...

Really? You honestly thought I wouldn't mention that the focus of this whole feature can barely be seen in the main picture?

No I suppose not. Can we just get on with it?

Yep. Name?

Hercules The Lion…

Another animal in a football kit? Original.

Tell me about it. Hardly the most inspiring thing to boost fan and team morale, is it? It could be worse though I guess. You know the old saying, “One lion is better than a ferret and an otter.”

Because I want this to finish today, I'm going to ignore that. What's it's characteristics then?

Er, friendly? Jovial? Upbeat? Anything that helps keep him in a job. Durable and robust, apparently.

Robust?

Yep. He's named after the Hercules Cycle and Motor Company, one of Aston’s most successful companies back in the day. The name Hercules was chosen for its associations with durability and robustness. The original company, which is now part of Raleigh, dissolved in December 2003… a month that saw Villa lose only one out of five Premiership fixtures, as well as a 2-1 win over Chelsea in the League Cup. Make of that what you will.

I'm struggling to make much of it to be honest. Since we can't see a bleeding thing in the pic, what does he look like?

I'm ignoring the subtle dig. He has a pretty impressive tail, a scarily spherical head, both of which may or may not possess magical powers. He's known to throw down the occasional disco move, and, unsurprisingly, has the meanest roar in the Premier League.

Course he has. Any claims to fame?

Erm...Hercules is the lovechild of Cowardly The Lion (of Wizard Of Oz fame) and Chimera (known to put herself about during the times of Ancient Greek Mythology)….

That's bollocks isn't it?

Yes.

Posted by: Lex

posted on Wednesday, April 02, 2008 4:19:19 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Comments [0]

The FA Cup: The number one collector of germs in the UK...

Well we didn’t, but we did get our hands on it…

Catflap’s Sam Feasey and a camera-wielding Matt Sellers need no excuse to rock up and gatecrash most events. And while most of you probably wouldn’t class thousands of Portsmouth fans queuing up outside Fratton Park for FA Cup semi-final tickets as an event per se, we would. And so rock up they did. And as they were entertaining the crowds with their hilarious wisecracks, genius questions and a few Canterbury goodies, guess who should turn up to pay them a visit? That’s right, the jug-eared shiny thing that everyone wants to win.

And here’s a pic of the delighted Lord Feasey with said Cup. While unashamedly wearing gear here’s clear just blagged for free. Though quite why he’s posing with it in the Bronx we’ll never know…

Posted by: Lex

posted on Wednesday, April 02, 2008 3:55:21 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Comments [0]
 Monday, March 31, 2008

Like this is your life, only without an oversized red book...


Posted by: Lex

posted on Monday, March 31, 2008 3:26:21 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Comments [0]
 Friday, March 28, 2008


Posted by: Lex

posted on Friday, March 28, 2008 5:44:23 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Comments [1]

This mutt is actually better than several members of the England squad...


Posted by: Lex

posted on Friday, March 28, 2008 5:02:07 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Comments [0]

 

 

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