Posted by: Lex

Barnsley's Toby the Tyke

Another exciting installment I see...

Indeed it is, this week we say hello to Toby.

Do I have to? I try not to make a habit of talking to lonely blokes in furry suits.

Just this time then.

OK. Hi Toby. And what's he then? A mole?

A mole? Don't be silly, he's clearly a tyke.

Right. And what the ruddy hell is one of those?

It's a dog. And a cocky one at that.

How come? Does he go round doing his business on the pitch?

Not quite. But he does go in goal during the half time penalty shoot out. And it's very funny to boot.

Sounds a right hoot yeah...

It is. And he used to run from halfway line towards the away end, put ball in the net and celebrate in front of the away fans.

Why used to?

Because the police stopped him from doing so.

Now your talking, a bit of bother! Any more like this?

Well, yes, actually. He's been known to stop the Wolves mascot Wolfy in his tracks.

Wolfy being the renowned mascot troublemaker?

Yeah, but Toby soon took him down a peg.

Well played that man.

Do you mean that?

Not really no.

Posted by: Lex

#3. Jeff finds Sir Alex's raffle ticket...

Q: At the PFA Player of the Year awards, you see Alex Ferguson drop his raffle ticket and then pick it up without telling him. Later that evening the ticket wins the top prize of an all expenses paid fortnight in Mustique. Do you own up or pack your suitcase?

Jeff: "I am sorry but I will not be around for the next two weeks to do this column. You are never going to believe it, I gatecrashed the PFA dinner this year and guess what, I only went and won the first of a fortnight's expenses-paid holiday in Mustique. I bumped into sir Alex whilst I was there, he called me a jammy bastard, or I think he said that, I couldn't really understand him. Anyway, b******s to him, I'm off to Mustique. Best thing is I didn't even buy the ticket!"

See You Are The Jeff every week in Catflap Magazine.

Posted by: Lex

It's like Richard Keys on Red Bull...

Posted by: Lex

Those Yanks do know how to keep the ball out of the net...

Posted by: Lex

This time it's Chelsea...

The new Chelsea home kit for 2008/09. Apparently its "Radical cuts and 3D designs follow the shape of your body to increase comfort and improve performance." Which is nice.

It goes on sale on the 8th May, priced at £45 adults, £35 kids (the one Shauny is modelling no doubt...)

Posted by: Lex

Some people have all the luck...

Posted by: Lex

adidas have sent us the first images of Liverpool's new home strip for next season.

Here's what they have to say about it,
 
"The new stylish kit is in classic Liverpool red.  An embroidered Liver Bird is positioned on the back of the shirt and the inner neck of the shirt has a red chequered area inspired by the flags of The Kop. The shirt also carries a “This is Anfield” inscription, inspired by the famous Anfield sign. The new shirt collar is ribbed with a v-neck which has always been well received on shirts from the past."  

The new kit goes on sale on May 22nd 2008. For more info www.adidas.com/liverpoolfc

Posted by: Lex

We know you've probably seen it countless times...

But it's always worth watching again...

Posted by: Lex