They call him Samir Nasri. Because that's his name...

Here's Arsenal's new attacking starlet, no doubt set to take the Premier League by storm next season. So he'll be off to play in Serie A next summer then...

Posted by: Lex

Yet the authorities are going to have a task on their hands this season if this is deemed a precedent. What about old men who bring along their hip flasks for a half-time swig of Jack? Will they be punished? Newcastle's average gate is around the 50k mark every game. If the officials plan to ban every Newcastle fan who is a little inebriated, we estimate there'll be around 35 left. And there's no missing "k" there either. So what next? Banning every obese Geordie with their top off?

Actually, that might not be a bad thing...

Posted by: Lex

Steve Bruce denied that the JJB's pitch needed relaying...

Posted by: Lex

Not forgetting this guy of course...

Answers on a postcard...

Posted by: Lex

Big up to US Soccer on their big day...

We love those Yanks here at Catflap, we really do. Forget all that Bush nonsense, all this starting wars for oil rubbish, and as for the next president, we like them both (That's a lie, go Barack!). So to celebrate July 4th, we've decided to post this video of a man who has revolutionised 'soccer' in the US, a man who can strike a mean free kick, as he did wonderfully at a World Cup not too long ago. That's right, it's Eric Wynalda. No, that's not "Ronaldo" pronounced by Jonathan Ross, but the bloke who was simply brilliant on Championship Manager 1997. Happy Independence Day Eric...

Posted by: Lex

He's taking Sheree to Turkey!

So after five years keeping Liverpool's physio company, Harry's decided to pack his bags and head to the footballing hotbed of Turkey, after Galatasaray claimed this morning that the Aussie was set to sign a three-year deal with the Turkish champions. And why wouldn't he, look what it's done to Colin Kazim-Richards' career...

But that's not the only reason he's gone there obviously. For there's also partisan football crowds, £££££, world class players, £££££, an exciting league, £££££, and top class kebabs. In fact he's probably going over there to play for free. We're sure Sheree can't wait to see the sights of Istanbul, Europe's most populus city and the only metropolis situated on two continents. So before he leaves for pastors new, let us watch some of his highlights, as he joins Gazza and Alan Shearer in wondering just what could've been had he not rejected a raging red Scotsman...

Good luck Harry...

Posted by: Lex

Posted by: Lex

Just when you thought football kits couldn't get worse...

Posted by: Lex

For when a rumour mill isn't enough

 

 

Roman Abramovich has emerged as a key figure in the transfer saga of Cristiano Ronaldo.

 

Real Madrid hope to complete the move by the middle of July for €80 million and then will immediately sell Robinho to Chelsea for a generous €50 million thus giving them a net outlay of just €30 million. That is right, Abramovich will make it possible for Real to sign Ronaldo for just £20 million, that is a steal.

 

The operation was agreed earlier this week in a meeting between the Real president Calderon and executives at Banco Santander. The reason Abramovich will assist the transfer is obvious as it will weaken a rival, Fergie will be furious.

Posted by: Rik