THE CATFLAP CHINWAG WITH…

THE HOOSIERS

Alphonso, what's going on at Exeter these days?

A- Having graced Wembley last season with a fine display - only to be beaten by Morecombe, we are in the middle of the post-playoff-final depression season. But we are playing some solid football and a glorious Cup run is on the cards. For the record Michael Jackson is not our chairman, although I understand Bubbles is running the under-15s.

 

Makes sense. Is Uri Geller still hanging around?

A - Uri Gellar is gone, hopefully back to Reading. That season was disastrous. We nearly had Gazza manage us, Lee Sharpe played/hung out for a couple of games and we finally got relegated from the Football League. So the Geller, Jackson, Blaine gang can suck my bum.

 

Martin, are Djurgården any good?

Martin - They won the Swedish League about two years ago. Anders Limpar (known for a few seasons at Arsenal) and Andreas Isaksson (Man City) used to play for them.

 

Do you follow any British teams?

M - Not one in particular. I enjoy when Swedes score goals cause I can tell Alph and Irwin that it reminds me of the fact that England hasn't beaten us in 40 years.

 

Steady on. Know any amazing football stats?

A - As I understand it no player over the height of 6.2 has ever scored an overhead kick at Stamford Bridge in March.

I - The earliest prototype footballs were made of glass. Also a lie.

 

Thanks for those. We hear Alphonso and Irwin went for trials in the States, how did they go?

A - Ace, I scored a twin bag of upper nineties and Irwin bagged four consecutive bullet thwarts.

I - So well that we were back in Blighty in time for beans on toast.

 

Will Beckham make any difference over there?

A - While it owns all the players and they keep in place their stupid collegiate system soccer will never be world class - which is a shame because they have some classy players out there. But haven't they always had megastars ending their careers Stateside? I don't think it will make much difference in the long run.